Have You Healed From the Hurt or Merely Moved On…5 Ways to Know

Written by Dr. Bernadette on . Posted in Dr. Bernadette's Blog

Hello Health and Lifestyle VIPs,

This is Dr. Bernadette, your friendly informative family medicine doctor, prescribing health, healing and happiness and guiding you to your passion and purpose. Authentic healing is more than just declaring “I am over it,” “I am done with that” or “I have moved on.” Deciding to put a stressful incident behind you is essential to your healing, but don’t confuse it with being healed––a healthy mental state which creates a safe space to live life to the fullest. Simply moving on, leaves you vulnerable to circumstances and conditions which become the impetus to circling back to your soul-aches.

I thought I had found a path in the opposite direction of my brokenness, but it became apparent I had not and to have continued to think so was deceiving. Restoration requires going deeper to stop living in the shadows of pain. Stepping out from the overcast of hurt involves sincere openness to the process of healing. Yes, there will be gloomy moments, but the sun does shine again––and, it will shine on you. Take it from someone who finally felt the warmth of the sun enliven her spirit.

Because your power emanates from your heart, healing is germane to your being. Here’s how you know you have healed from a life trauma…and if you haven’t, this very moment is the perfect time to begin.

5 Ways to Know You Have Healed From a Life Trauma:

  1. You can remember the pain without reliving it. You can recall the event without being tormented by the intense agony of the experience. The replay loses its affect and you are able to breathe because it no longer evokes tremendous fear. Your thoughts are not invaded by a flood of negative emotions. It may be necessary to grieve or finish grieving before your can really heal. Discerning where you are in the the five stages of grief––denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance––can help determine what you need to regain hope, move forward and at last have closure.
  2. You can forgive yourself and release any guilt. Some of us are carrying the weight of childhood suffering and are emotionally stuck at whatever age the distress occurred. Whether you are wrestling with a childhood or adult wrongdoings, showing yourself empathy can be the difference between healing and simply coping. Healing allows you to stop punishing the younger you for being helpless and accept your past could not have been any different. And, while pass misdeeds were harmful, they don’t interfere with living today.
  3. Your heart is available for new experiences. Will you give your heart a second chance? Another chance to love, trust, believe and be open and faultless. When you close your heart as an attempt to keep “bad things” out, you also keep “good things” from coming in. However, when you are healed, you are able to guard you heart without putting a wall around it. There may be some timidness about inviting in new people and experiences, but you absolutely refuse to permit previous transgressions from isolating you from your life.
  4. You can accept freedom as your ultimate retribution. True healing is not dependent on revenge. It does not necessitate that someone feels your pain only that you are freed from it. You are not preoccupied with punishing the person who wronged you, having your hurt acknowledge nor are you awaiting an apology. You embrace wholeness––wellness in mind, body and spirit––and freedom as your reprisal.
  5. You can acknowledge the victimization without assuming the role of the victim. It happened, but it does not define, determine or devalue your purpose. You do not ruminate in the past and will not let bitterness be your final resolution. You make a conscious decision to reclaim your life and accept your experience as a part of your story, but not the whole story.

After a traumatic occurrence, many times emotional needs are abandoned. They are often ignored, denied and misunderstood. In the absence of genuine healing, it is possible to remain captured for a lifetime by pain. It is never too late to heal––stop reliving your hurt, forgive yourself, open your heart again, seek freedom and choose not be a victim.

Remember to share this blog to help others heal their lives. Visit my blog and website often to stay informed about upcoming offers, ways to connect personally and new projects––hint!

In Health, Healing and Happiness,

Dr. Bernadette

Bernadette Anderson, M.D., M.P.H. has devoted the past 20 years to developing, teaching and educating others on the principles of health and lifestyle transformation. Her approach is to provide simple tools to allow people to be champions of their own healing, health and happiness and transition to a life of purpose and passion. These are the same tools that helped her drop over 140 pounds! She is the founder of Faith Family Health, Inc., a speaker, a health expert for media, bestselling and international published author, has appeared on national commercials and featured in highly-recognized online magazines.Visit her at DrBernadetteMD.com.

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